“Family Values” by Richard Rodriguez

The following is a brief summary of the content of the essay “Family Values” by Richard Rodriguez. The author opens the essay on a personal note, describes himself as a middle-aged homosexual man outside of his parents out in San Francisco, California, who is about to go inside and explain to his parents that he is in fact gay. The idea of ‘family values’ is introduced through talking about its use among the Republican Party and its use and definition pertaining to the large population of immigrants living in America. The author moves to outline that the understanding of the world family values takes on very different meanings based on the country of origin. He explains that the American idea of ‘family value’ is on in which the children leave home, live on their own and learn ways to make themselves distinguishingly different who their parents are. America is a country that stems from ideas that question authority and breaking away from the idea that who you are should not always represent where you came from. The author goes on to explain that if America its self were to be attributed with a gender it would most definitely be male; it is a country built on ideas that strength and independence are among the most dear ideas one can master. Feminism and its every changing battle ground stems from this idea of a masculine America. 50 years ago the woman’s place was at with the family and not at the work place, now it has changed to question whether these same women (who have jobs) should feel obligated to fulfill mothering aspect of a family. The homosexual member of any group or family is always presented as the caring and emotional type, never mind who they actually are or what they want, because they have ‘chosen’ to be gay they have endowed themselves with these clear universal qualities; this being a stereotype registered by our current society. The author’s closing ideas concern the inner workings of a family, he states that in his experience it is the gay couples that are most happy. They have learned to toss aside all social expectation for a relationship, because they apparently fulfill none. All the while paying homage to the standardized family values which rejects them by their marriage. Family trust is what is breaking in America, children don’t care about their parents like they do in other cultures and we hide secrets out of fear of rejection by out families. The author closes again on a personal note again saying that he finally does walk through his parents’ door.
The Author makes some harsh and very realistic points in his essay. I personally feel that the observations made concerning the detachment that children and parents feel is very real in America. However looking to other cultures as a reference (i.e. Asians and Hispanics) is wrong in its approach to logic. Turning back to what the author was beginning to summarize midway through the essay about American culture being one that rejected authority and did things its own way from the very beginning; there is no way we could assimilate another cultures view of a family value system. I believe in some respects that the American family system is very progressive, its faults are more highlighted but that is only because of the open nature of our society. At one point the author was describing the story of his friend from Asia who came here and discovered his gay side. The author left that story on a low note saying that the young man expected the arrival of his family and he did not know what to do. Later he returned to the Asian understanding, saying that they are a very family oriented society and we envy them and their teamwork, which has paid off. The author both praises and refutes the asian cultural version of family in those two points. The families are more tightly knit, this is true, but it is an even bigger deal to disgrace a parent by acknowledging you are their gay son or daughter. There is no room for error, and it is unrealistic, they are closely tied based on a web of ignorance, because they do not address the real problems felt by the family. Women there do not always feel the same pressure of independence the American women are urged to embrace. Overall the point I’m trying to make that it isn’t fair to compare family values because no problem is address the same way in every culture. Open mindedness and acceptance, which were points he tried to emphasize at the end of the essay are the important component of any family value system.